Hey, dishwasher; shut the fuck up.

I live in a world filled with like a million and one different gadgets, all of which make a point of trying to grab my attention with stupid fucking noises.

Now, I can kind of understand this with like, say, a phone call, a real human on the other side of the line clamoring for my attention in their time of need, but today I noticed that apparently my dishwasher thinks I need to prioritise my time of porn and computer games underneath unloading the dishwasher.

Now, I don't have many friends so it isn't that hard to imagine my dishwasher has more plans than me, but is there a dinner party I wasn't aware of? Do I need to stuff a turkey and lay a table? Or get a table to lay, whatever, I'm a 22 year old man, the only things we care about on four legs can walk upright on two and make a mean sandwich.

If this isn't the case, then WHY WON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP? It keeps beeping like every 10 minutes and really fucking loud too, I can hear it from my bedroom, where I am now, because like all men with days off in their twenties I spend it all on the internet. You're not my fucking mother, why do you insist on demanding I unload you?

Either technology is specifically being designed to be annoying as all hell or Skynet has become self aware. POP CULTURE REFERENCE LOL!

That gets me thinking, the hell is up with pop-culture references being the basis for all humour on television nowadays? Have we really run out of ideas? The only laughs to be gotten are from recognising the fact that other people have watched the same shit that you have. I'm unaware of why that is funny, unless you are Abed from Community, in which case continue because you are AWESOME.

People spend a lot of time bitching about re-runs on television, so why do we enjoy crappy re-enactments of catch phrases in other shows? It's like a perpetual sink-hole of parrot like repetition which gets up my pee-hole to no end.

Although, admittedly, things seem to get up my pee-hole rather easily. No homo.

Anyway, I have to leave for work in an hour and a half, so I'm getting my ass to the golden arches to get me a double cheese and diet coke, because find me another place you can get a decent burger and drink for £2.50.

And if you can, shut the fuck up, because I'm never wrong and you always are.

PEACE!