So it's been about four months since my cat, Dennis died. I was always worried beforehand that when he went I wouldn't think about him or I wouldn't be that affected. I was pretty convinced I was going to be neutral to it.
This terrified, and more, upset me, that something so close to me could disappear and I wouldn't care.
Well, as it turns out, I do care. Just under a week ago I had a dream about him. My parents asked me to look after him when they went on holiday, and so I took him back to my new flat and I was well excited, but then, of course, I woke up and there was no cat for me.
Now, this is sad I admit, and it had me down, but it also made me feel better about myself, because four months on I'm still thinking about him regularly, and I know he was a pet but he was my first pet that was around me since I was like 3 years old. He followed me everywhere and sat with me all the time, Mum and Dad would joke that he was my shadow.
When I went out for my morning coffee, though, I was greeted by Landmine, which is my nickname for the older of the two cats that live next door, a big fluffy gentleman. After a moment of caution, he let me pet him and he was purring and all that. Eventually I decided to let him come into my room by leaving the back door open (my bedroom is also the only way to the garden). He milled around my room for a bit and came to see me, checking out my bed and sofa, and then he left.
This was all I needed to know I want another cat in my life, because I guess now I feel that Dennis (my cat) was his own personality, and no other cat will ever replace him, but I shouldn't look for a replacement, because what I had was amazing and I was too focused on losing it, but when you're focused on the loss, you throw away all those years that you had a real best friend. What I should look for is a new friend, a different one, because I'll never forget Dennis, and knowing that he'll always be in my heart gives me the faith to move forward.
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