I discussed this a little while ago with my lovely lady partner, about actually putting this blog to some use, rather than for me to angrily masturbate my thoughts over a keyboard for no-body to view (then again, with sentences like that it may be best for people not to see this).
Regardless, as I've mentioned I tend to have a lot of free time and as such I have plenty of time to do musical stuff, but I tend to go a long time between making anything, and recently I've had a serious lull.
This is unfortunate, and it could be attributed to the fact I'm growing up, but with free time and waning interest in my one and only hobby (smoking doesn't count as a hobby), I need to really focus.
So, at least once a week I will update this blog with something new. It might be shitty, it might be unfinished, but it's something.
Hopefully this will help me practice and bring something new every time I attempt a track.
Now, you can't see behind the scenes but I have a handful of draft blogs yet to be finished. This is the same with my music. I have around five or six tracks I'm yet to do anything with, which is sirry, so I'm going to work on them and upload the results.
This week, however, I'm uploading something that I'm stuck on (as is the result of most of my musical endeavors). I set out to do a Pogo style remix of Donnie Darko, which is hands down my favorite film of all time.
What came out the other end, however, lacked the ethereal charm of Pogo and developed a dark quality of it's own.
This track (or more snippet) was made from a track called "Liquid Spear Waltz", composed for Donnie Darko, and is available on the (frankly stunning) soundtrack.
Anyway, enough babbling, I call this one "Dogo". It's far from complete, but honestly I think I backed myself into a wall here so I'm willing to let it sit as an example of how not to remix a track.
*IMPORTANT EDIT*
Turn your speakers WELL down, for some reason there is massive feedback for the first few seconds and it WILL rape your ears. You are warned.
http://www1.zippyshare.com/v/25660960/file.html
The feedback seemed to ruin the E.Q. of the whole track but I'm so passed the point of caring right now. I'm off to cry.
BYE BYE!
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
The one thing I hate more than SOPA is the c-holes that oppose it.
Okay, so that's not strictly true, S.O.P.A. infringes on free speech, something that we, in the western world have grown to take for granted, really.
Now, the people who peddle S.O.P.A. will have you believe that it's to prevent piracy, nothing more, no infringing on personal liberties, just to respect intellectual copyright, so people get paid for their hard work.
Of course, this would be fine, if the bill wasn't worded in such a way that it gives the U.S. Government the power to shut down any site it pleases with whatever airy-fairy reason they can find, for instance, this pithy little blog, because I spoke ill of them.
On the other hand, those who oppose S.O.P.A., myself included, will simply say that this is a power play for greed, and using one problem to control the entire internet and it's content, and in simple terms, S.O.P.A. (and it's sister bill, P.I.P.A.) are absolute bullshit.
The thing is, we've heard this from everyone, and I was under the impression that people were opposing S.O.P.A. because of this infringement on free speech and it's injustice. The issues S.O.P.A. bring up are pointless, and they do nothing to prevent or scare piracy.
But then I see this.
What, the actual fuck? The idea of stopping internet piracy is the single positive attribute of S.O.P.A., music, films, anything that is pirated was made by other people, their time and money have gone into it all. We cannot oppose it unless we show that we can police ourselves.
I honestly feel there is a need for some form of piracy prevention, I honestly do. I haven't pirated a movie, a game or even music for nigh on 4 years. The problem with S.O.P.A. is that it infringes on our given rights to have a voice, not that it means we can't download Madonna's new bobby shitheap of an album, or watch another rom-com wankfest free of charge.
I tell you this, if S.O.P.A. was perfectly worded to mean it restricted piracy, AND ONLY PIRACY, then I would be all for it.
Megaupload went down recently, and you know what? Good, fuck it, the owner knew exactly what it was there for, and what it was doing. Piracy is wrong, plain and simple, other people worked hard to produce what you're watching, and I'm not just talking about the up highs, the directors and the actors, because you know what? They aren't the ones taking the hit in pay, and all because you think that for some reason you deserve to receive their work free of charge? Since when did you all become so special that you were OWED films and movies?
This idea of "industry big-wigs trying to make money" is just something you have all made up to make you feel better about stealing.
You are stealing. That is exactly what you are doing.
I once heard the argument that it isn't stealing, that "If you had an apple, and I took it, that would be stealing, but if I made a copy of the apple, it wouldn't be, because you still have your apple".
Bullshit, it's called intellectual copyright. If I wrote a song, and then you copied it and I got nothing for my efforts, for that work, then what would you be?
You'd be a fucking thief.
That or Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas.
Now, the people who peddle S.O.P.A. will have you believe that it's to prevent piracy, nothing more, no infringing on personal liberties, just to respect intellectual copyright, so people get paid for their hard work.
Of course, this would be fine, if the bill wasn't worded in such a way that it gives the U.S. Government the power to shut down any site it pleases with whatever airy-fairy reason they can find, for instance, this pithy little blog, because I spoke ill of them.
The thing is, we've heard this from everyone, and I was under the impression that people were opposing S.O.P.A. because of this infringement on free speech and it's injustice. The issues S.O.P.A. bring up are pointless, and they do nothing to prevent or scare piracy.
But then I see this.
What, the actual fuck? The idea of stopping internet piracy is the single positive attribute of S.O.P.A., music, films, anything that is pirated was made by other people, their time and money have gone into it all. We cannot oppose it unless we show that we can police ourselves.
I honestly feel there is a need for some form of piracy prevention, I honestly do. I haven't pirated a movie, a game or even music for nigh on 4 years. The problem with S.O.P.A. is that it infringes on our given rights to have a voice, not that it means we can't download Madonna's new bobby shitheap of an album, or watch another rom-com wankfest free of charge.
I tell you this, if S.O.P.A. was perfectly worded to mean it restricted piracy, AND ONLY PIRACY, then I would be all for it.
Megaupload went down recently, and you know what? Good, fuck it, the owner knew exactly what it was there for, and what it was doing. Piracy is wrong, plain and simple, other people worked hard to produce what you're watching, and I'm not just talking about the up highs, the directors and the actors, because you know what? They aren't the ones taking the hit in pay, and all because you think that for some reason you deserve to receive their work free of charge? Since when did you all become so special that you were OWED films and movies?
This idea of "industry big-wigs trying to make money" is just something you have all made up to make you feel better about stealing.
You are stealing. That is exactly what you are doing.
I once heard the argument that it isn't stealing, that "If you had an apple, and I took it, that would be stealing, but if I made a copy of the apple, it wouldn't be, because you still have your apple".
Bullshit, it's called intellectual copyright. If I wrote a song, and then you copied it and I got nothing for my efforts, for that work, then what would you be?
You'd be a fucking thief.
That or Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
Happy New oh fuck off.
Now I'm not a total grouch, I had a good time last night and all that jazz, but there is one thing that I absolutely abhor about parties, I mean aside from having to be around other functioning human beings.
I drive, so thus I become designated driver, so I drank a little bit to get my party on, but for some reason I wake up feeling like someone has wrapped a warm piss-drenched towel around my brain. That is the best description I can come up with for how I'm currently feeling. I mean, lets stay away from the fact my stomach is now twirling like a fucking whirlpool of bile and my throat is tighter than a virgin asshole, but my head, oh sweet fuck my head.
So yeah, my big deal is drinking to excess. I get it, it's fun and it helps people cut loose, but this morning? Fucking eugh. The thing is, I'm not actually hung over enough to be considered a proper train wreck, it's like when you get a minor cold, a sore throat and puffy eyes. It sucks balls but no-one gives you sympathy, and you can't help thinking "if only I had a spot of aids then people would pay me some damn attention". It's like that, I can't complain about being hungover (well I can and currently am, but shut up) because there are people that are far, far worse than me, like when I went to pick up fast food for my girlfriend last night.
So I pulled up next to the place at around 4am, which was weirdly still open, but fair play. I had barely taken the keys out of my door after locking my car when some guy bundles into the passenger side door. I look up at him, wondering just what the hell was going on, but even he has no clue, this guy is smashed, like Greek plate at a wedding smashed. He took out his phone and looked at it but I'm not entirely convince he knew that what he was holding was a modern piece of technology or a live python because he started spinning like a 5 year old after a sugar binge.
Anyway, I walk inside to the pizza place and I sit down for a bit, just watching the world go by when I hear a thud from outside, so I take a look through the window and the same guy is now unintentionally planking on my car. I thought I heard him hurl, but thank Zeus he didn't. I really wanted to say something, it seemed the perfect opportunity to punch someone in a fight I couldn't possibly lose, but I'm not like that, although I really, really wanted to.
I should point out that this was still at 4am where, aside from whoever was in the pizza place, literally no-one else was around, the streets were 100% empty, which isn't even an exaggeration. The only person I saw walking on the drive home was a guy who I watched steal 6 cans of coke from the same pizza place I was in.
On that note, as I watched him steal the drinks, I was pretty tempted to tell the pizza guy, whatever the technical name is. Pizza bro? I dunno. Heh, rhyme. Anyway, I was thinking of a way I could subtly say something without getting into a big thing, I just wanted my bed, but the thief turned and started talking to me, about what we had got up to that night. He seemed to find it funny that I barricade some dong-hole into a room with a stepladder. Oh yeah, that happened too, I forgot that. I'm an arsehole at times, but general consensus is that he's a bigger arsehole so fuck him.
So we shot the shit and some Amy Winehouse lookalike stumbled in, meaning not only did she look like a drug-addled sailor tramp but also like she was a 6 month old rotting corpse who started asking in some form of garbled baboon-English if they were still open, completely ignoring the 'open' sign, and the fact that people were in there, ordering food. We took the piss out of her, she was too smashed to even know what was going on, and I then took my leave with my food and went home.
I ate, I slept, I woke, and now I feel like a decade-old pickled shit.
Happy New Year none-existent readership!
I drive, so thus I become designated driver, so I drank a little bit to get my party on, but for some reason I wake up feeling like someone has wrapped a warm piss-drenched towel around my brain. That is the best description I can come up with for how I'm currently feeling. I mean, lets stay away from the fact my stomach is now twirling like a fucking whirlpool of bile and my throat is tighter than a virgin asshole, but my head, oh sweet fuck my head.
So yeah, my big deal is drinking to excess. I get it, it's fun and it helps people cut loose, but this morning? Fucking eugh. The thing is, I'm not actually hung over enough to be considered a proper train wreck, it's like when you get a minor cold, a sore throat and puffy eyes. It sucks balls but no-one gives you sympathy, and you can't help thinking "if only I had a spot of aids then people would pay me some damn attention". It's like that, I can't complain about being hungover (well I can and currently am, but shut up) because there are people that are far, far worse than me, like when I went to pick up fast food for my girlfriend last night.
So I pulled up next to the place at around 4am, which was weirdly still open, but fair play. I had barely taken the keys out of my door after locking my car when some guy bundles into the passenger side door. I look up at him, wondering just what the hell was going on, but even he has no clue, this guy is smashed, like Greek plate at a wedding smashed. He took out his phone and looked at it but I'm not entirely convince he knew that what he was holding was a modern piece of technology or a live python because he started spinning like a 5 year old after a sugar binge.
Anyway, I walk inside to the pizza place and I sit down for a bit, just watching the world go by when I hear a thud from outside, so I take a look through the window and the same guy is now unintentionally planking on my car. I thought I heard him hurl, but thank Zeus he didn't. I really wanted to say something, it seemed the perfect opportunity to punch someone in a fight I couldn't possibly lose, but I'm not like that, although I really, really wanted to.
I should point out that this was still at 4am where, aside from whoever was in the pizza place, literally no-one else was around, the streets were 100% empty, which isn't even an exaggeration. The only person I saw walking on the drive home was a guy who I watched steal 6 cans of coke from the same pizza place I was in.
On that note, as I watched him steal the drinks, I was pretty tempted to tell the pizza guy, whatever the technical name is. Pizza bro? I dunno. Heh, rhyme. Anyway, I was thinking of a way I could subtly say something without getting into a big thing, I just wanted my bed, but the thief turned and started talking to me, about what we had got up to that night. He seemed to find it funny that I barricade some dong-hole into a room with a stepladder. Oh yeah, that happened too, I forgot that. I'm an arsehole at times, but general consensus is that he's a bigger arsehole so fuck him.
So we shot the shit and some Amy Winehouse lookalike stumbled in, meaning not only did she look like a drug-addled sailor tramp but also like she was a 6 month old rotting corpse who started asking in some form of garbled baboon-English if they were still open, completely ignoring the 'open' sign, and the fact that people were in there, ordering food. We took the piss out of her, she was too smashed to even know what was going on, and I then took my leave with my food and went home.
I ate, I slept, I woke, and now I feel like a decade-old pickled shit.
Happy New Year none-existent readership!
Wednesday, 28 December 2011
Australians.
Just a short one, this is a genuine interchange, unedited (aside for structure). I'm in blue, she's in orange.
"the UK is a broke shithole whos economy is in the toilet, and australia is a economic masterpiece whos dollar is worth more than the US$, with jobs a plenty, sun silked beaches, crystal blue water and amazing people
please dont refer to australia as ANYTHING close to the UK"
"We put you on the other side of the planet for a reason, sweetheart."
"haha the uk founded australia, and now has fuckall to do with it"
"Who would want to?"
"lol, the 18 million english who apply for a visa every year and get knocked back maybe? should not of sent your convicts to paradise :)
dont try to get into a debate with me about which country is better ull lose because u can see on every news stand and every website in the world europes economy is screwed england is broke the worlds falling apart
and australia is one of the only countries doing well"
"It's not like you can get much worse than convict-run shithole, and actually, your economy has been fucked for years, that, and the UK isn't involved in the European economy, so I guess your average intelligence isn't too grand either.
Also, there are just over 60 million people living in the UK, 1 in 3 do not apply for Australia, so you are also bullshit merchants, although that is hardly news.
So I guess I did just debate.
And I guess I won too.
A little like the ashes.
Thats right, sports too."
Unfortunately, she didn't reply.
"the UK is a broke shithole whos economy is in the toilet, and australia is a economic masterpiece whos dollar is worth more than the US$, with jobs a plenty, sun silked beaches, crystal blue water and amazing people
please dont refer to australia as ANYTHING close to the UK"
"We put you on the other side of the planet for a reason, sweetheart."
"haha the uk founded australia, and now has fuckall to do with it"
"Who would want to?"
"lol, the 18 million english who apply for a visa every year and get knocked back maybe? should not of sent your convicts to paradise :)
dont try to get into a debate with me about which country is better ull lose because u can see on every news stand and every website in the world europes economy is screwed england is broke the worlds falling apart
and australia is one of the only countries doing well"
"It's not like you can get much worse than convict-run shithole, and actually, your economy has been fucked for years, that, and the UK isn't involved in the European economy, so I guess your average intelligence isn't too grand either.
Also, there are just over 60 million people living in the UK, 1 in 3 do not apply for Australia, so you are also bullshit merchants, although that is hardly news.
So I guess I did just debate.
And I guess I won too.
A little like the ashes.
Thats right, sports too."
Unfortunately, she didn't reply.
Saturday, 24 December 2011
What a merry old twat I am.
Ok, so basically I've been palming off writing a new blog post for two reasons. One, because I can't be bothered sometimes, I have to be in a kind of writing mood to actually put pen to paper, or fingers to keys as it were.
The second reason, is the perhaps more embarrassing one that an IT consultant had forgotten both his login details and which e-mail account he used. Now this could be excused if I had, say, five or six e-mails, but the amount of e-mail addresses I use settle somewhere in the region between 1 and 3.
Now, the more sharp minded of you might have raised an eyebrow at such a ridiculous mishap, but it can be understood with the simplest of statements: I have been very stoned for the last week or so. I'm talking like two joints and a bong a day stoned, so while not completely dead, I've been in a comfy haze.
This came about because I quit my job a little while ago. My last shift was the 15th, so I woke up on the 16th (my birthday) free as a bird, which was possibly the best present I could have hoped for.
Oh yeah, I have a new job starting on the 1st of Jan, or at least that's when my contract begins. Better pay, better prospects and much better hours.
But the thing is, I had, and to be honest, still have, bugger all to do with my time. My lovely girlfriend is busy working, my flatmate working, and my other friend's home for the festivities, so with nothing to do and no-one to do it with, I may as well piss it away in a haze.
I figured I could be all creative and make some awesome music, but I'll be honest, drugs don't make music better. For all of the songs The Beatles wrote under the influence, every acid-induced ballad that came from Pink Floyd, were fine tuned and honed by groups of very sober writers and producers.
There are only so many sounds you can make with a guitar, or a keyboard or whatevs without effects. An electric guitar is just strings until you put it into an amp, and no-one listens to lyrics that intently anymore, you just need to look to Tinie Tempah for evidence of that ("I've got so many clothes I keep them at my aunt's house" is a personal favorite. Also, that is in context, it's a self contained sentence in the song).
As it turns out, I'm not a world famous singer, so I'm stuck trying to produce my own stuff, and while under the influence, it sounded awesome, but then again, whipped cream in mashed potato tasted awesome, so I can hardly be a judge of good quality when I'm baked.
The result was... interesting. It gave me a good insight into my stoned mind. The tracks all had an airy feeling and harmonized fine, that is to say, the notes all sat well with each other, but there was no structure, just... sound, fucking everywhere. I would get up in the morning to look at what I had made and just put my head in my hands looking at the jumbled mess that lay before me on the screen. It took me a good solid hour to put this into some basic format, but this one is called Daisy, and it's the only track that survived the purge:
http://www.jmmltd.com/Daisy.mp3
So yeah, it's a mess, essentially. This is what happens when a producer gets too stoned and tries to produce his own track, it's a mess.
Production, you see, isn't a case of being inventive or creative as much as it is precision engineering sound. Think of it as musical lego. If you asked someone caned and someone sober to build a house from lego, no doubt the sober person would make a solid house with doors and windows, and the caned person would make some mad creation, but who the fuck wants a house that breaks down the walls of perception? I want my damn walls to stay up, thanks, it's winter.
Anyway, that was a strained metaphor, as is the case with the majority of all my hypotheticals.
This being said, I'm not against drugs, so commence phase part déux of this blog, why marijuana should be legalised, and actively encouraged.
This, by the way, goes to both the needlessly restrained arseholes AND the douchebag potheads that support the legalisation. The reason for this, which is something that should be applied to ALL debates, is that it isn't a game of sides. This isn't sport, this isn't football, there are valid arguments on both sides.
I really want to segue onto politics here, but I shall restrain myself.
Firstly, this is a fact - weed is less damaging to the human body and mind than alcohol, and in itself as a substance, has precisely zero addictive qualities, being as addictive as, say, a carrot. You can find your own references for this, as this isn't a journal. Either take my word for it, or research it if you don't believe me.
So, it's less damaging to the system than alcohol. Which is legal. Now, you can't have one legal without the other one, so you have a choice, logically, to either ban both, or legalise both.
Now, the government gets a lot of it's funding from taxation of luxury goods, and even more with alcohol, so we won't see any bans on that any time soon. We enjoy alcohol, most of us in moderation. I was having a birthday lunch with my girlfriend and I made the point that while alcohol was freely available at any time of day, even then in working hours, nobody around was drunk, or at least excessively.
This shows we have restraint, we (mostly) understand our responsibilities and thus respect them. No-one was rowdy, getting into fights, throwing up, fucking on my meatballs (to be fair it was a small plate). We had the choice to get fucked up, but people chose to be responsible. Every. Last. One.
So this instantly negates the claim that if it was legal, people would just sit at home all day doing nothing being stoned. Bullshit. I smoke regularly and I'm currently under contract for an £18k job that will grow to £25k in 6 months. I both finish all my work, meet friends and pay rent. I have no criminal record.
The people who are potheads? Well you can abuse ANY substance. On Jeremy Kyle there was a woman who huffs like 5, 6 cans of butane a day. If people want to rely on something, they will find it.
Moving on, picture a Saturday night out on the lash on your standard high street. Drunk people screaming, singing, police presence, belligerence, all of this due to alcohol, a legal substance encouraged. Violent crimes committed all the damn time. I've even done a few myself. I can testify that alcohol can make you violent and act without any care to other people. I've even driven drunk, numerous times, because when drunk I think I'm invincible.
Let me put this simply - Alcohol turns otherwise nice people into complete cunts.
An evening out on weed? There isn't such a thing. You smoke weed, you just want to relax, talk, play games, watch a movie, just anything chilled. Fight? You're not fighting anyone, you love everything and you can't be bothered to move.
Now why is that illegal? At what point does that begin to make sense? So I'm allowed to drink copious amounts that cause me to go mental and act like a dick, but I'm not allowed to smoke alone or with friends and just relax?
Violent crime would drop in a damn instant.
And think of the money the country could be making! It's insane, if we regulated and taxed weed for it to be readily available, then think of all this extra income, think of the jobs, think of how much the youth of today would love you. We are all going to smoke anyway, with or without your approval.
It makes ZERO sense, not just to me, but at all in any form of logic, that marijuana is illegal. It is both detrimental to society and the economy.
Until you have smoked weed, you cannot judge. It is the definition of now knowing what you're talking about. You are not the authority on this subject. I am.
So shut up, and take a lungful of this. It might not broaden your mind, but hopefully it'll shut you the fuck up.
The second reason, is the perhaps more embarrassing one that an IT consultant had forgotten both his login details and which e-mail account he used. Now this could be excused if I had, say, five or six e-mails, but the amount of e-mail addresses I use settle somewhere in the region between 1 and 3.
Now, the more sharp minded of you might have raised an eyebrow at such a ridiculous mishap, but it can be understood with the simplest of statements: I have been very stoned for the last week or so. I'm talking like two joints and a bong a day stoned, so while not completely dead, I've been in a comfy haze.
This came about because I quit my job a little while ago. My last shift was the 15th, so I woke up on the 16th (my birthday) free as a bird, which was possibly the best present I could have hoped for.
Oh yeah, I have a new job starting on the 1st of Jan, or at least that's when my contract begins. Better pay, better prospects and much better hours.
But the thing is, I had, and to be honest, still have, bugger all to do with my time. My lovely girlfriend is busy working, my flatmate working, and my other friend's home for the festivities, so with nothing to do and no-one to do it with, I may as well piss it away in a haze.
I figured I could be all creative and make some awesome music, but I'll be honest, drugs don't make music better. For all of the songs The Beatles wrote under the influence, every acid-induced ballad that came from Pink Floyd, were fine tuned and honed by groups of very sober writers and producers.
There are only so many sounds you can make with a guitar, or a keyboard or whatevs without effects. An electric guitar is just strings until you put it into an amp, and no-one listens to lyrics that intently anymore, you just need to look to Tinie Tempah for evidence of that ("I've got so many clothes I keep them at my aunt's house" is a personal favorite. Also, that is in context, it's a self contained sentence in the song).
As it turns out, I'm not a world famous singer, so I'm stuck trying to produce my own stuff, and while under the influence, it sounded awesome, but then again, whipped cream in mashed potato tasted awesome, so I can hardly be a judge of good quality when I'm baked.
The result was... interesting. It gave me a good insight into my stoned mind. The tracks all had an airy feeling and harmonized fine, that is to say, the notes all sat well with each other, but there was no structure, just... sound, fucking everywhere. I would get up in the morning to look at what I had made and just put my head in my hands looking at the jumbled mess that lay before me on the screen. It took me a good solid hour to put this into some basic format, but this one is called Daisy, and it's the only track that survived the purge:
http://www.jmmltd.com/Daisy.mp3
So yeah, it's a mess, essentially. This is what happens when a producer gets too stoned and tries to produce his own track, it's a mess.
Production, you see, isn't a case of being inventive or creative as much as it is precision engineering sound. Think of it as musical lego. If you asked someone caned and someone sober to build a house from lego, no doubt the sober person would make a solid house with doors and windows, and the caned person would make some mad creation, but who the fuck wants a house that breaks down the walls of perception? I want my damn walls to stay up, thanks, it's winter.
Anyway, that was a strained metaphor, as is the case with the majority of all my hypotheticals.
This being said, I'm not against drugs, so commence phase part déux of this blog, why marijuana should be legalised, and actively encouraged.
This, by the way, goes to both the needlessly restrained arseholes AND the douchebag potheads that support the legalisation. The reason for this, which is something that should be applied to ALL debates, is that it isn't a game of sides. This isn't sport, this isn't football, there are valid arguments on both sides.
I really want to segue onto politics here, but I shall restrain myself.
Firstly, this is a fact - weed is less damaging to the human body and mind than alcohol, and in itself as a substance, has precisely zero addictive qualities, being as addictive as, say, a carrot. You can find your own references for this, as this isn't a journal. Either take my word for it, or research it if you don't believe me.
So, it's less damaging to the system than alcohol. Which is legal. Now, you can't have one legal without the other one, so you have a choice, logically, to either ban both, or legalise both.
Now, the government gets a lot of it's funding from taxation of luxury goods, and even more with alcohol, so we won't see any bans on that any time soon. We enjoy alcohol, most of us in moderation. I was having a birthday lunch with my girlfriend and I made the point that while alcohol was freely available at any time of day, even then in working hours, nobody around was drunk, or at least excessively.
This shows we have restraint, we (mostly) understand our responsibilities and thus respect them. No-one was rowdy, getting into fights, throwing up, fucking on my meatballs (to be fair it was a small plate). We had the choice to get fucked up, but people chose to be responsible. Every. Last. One.
So this instantly negates the claim that if it was legal, people would just sit at home all day doing nothing being stoned. Bullshit. I smoke regularly and I'm currently under contract for an £18k job that will grow to £25k in 6 months. I both finish all my work, meet friends and pay rent. I have no criminal record.
The people who are potheads? Well you can abuse ANY substance. On Jeremy Kyle there was a woman who huffs like 5, 6 cans of butane a day. If people want to rely on something, they will find it.
Moving on, picture a Saturday night out on the lash on your standard high street. Drunk people screaming, singing, police presence, belligerence, all of this due to alcohol, a legal substance encouraged. Violent crimes committed all the damn time. I've even done a few myself. I can testify that alcohol can make you violent and act without any care to other people. I've even driven drunk, numerous times, because when drunk I think I'm invincible.
Let me put this simply - Alcohol turns otherwise nice people into complete cunts.
An evening out on weed? There isn't such a thing. You smoke weed, you just want to relax, talk, play games, watch a movie, just anything chilled. Fight? You're not fighting anyone, you love everything and you can't be bothered to move.
Now why is that illegal? At what point does that begin to make sense? So I'm allowed to drink copious amounts that cause me to go mental and act like a dick, but I'm not allowed to smoke alone or with friends and just relax?
Violent crime would drop in a damn instant.
And think of the money the country could be making! It's insane, if we regulated and taxed weed for it to be readily available, then think of all this extra income, think of the jobs, think of how much the youth of today would love you. We are all going to smoke anyway, with or without your approval.
It makes ZERO sense, not just to me, but at all in any form of logic, that marijuana is illegal. It is both detrimental to society and the economy.
Until you have smoked weed, you cannot judge. It is the definition of now knowing what you're talking about. You are not the authority on this subject. I am.
So shut up, and take a lungful of this. It might not broaden your mind, but hopefully it'll shut you the fuck up.
Friday, 2 December 2011
Hey, dishwasher; shut the fuck up.
I live in a world filled with like a million and one different gadgets, all of which make a point of trying to grab my attention with stupid fucking noises.
Now, I can kind of understand this with like, say, a phone call, a real human on the other side of the line clamoring for my attention in their time of need, but today I noticed that apparently my dishwasher thinks I need to prioritise my time of porn and computer games underneath unloading the dishwasher.
Now, I don't have many friends so it isn't that hard to imagine my dishwasher has more plans than me, but is there a dinner party I wasn't aware of? Do I need to stuff a turkey and lay a table? Or get a table to lay, whatever, I'm a 22 year old man, the only things we care about on four legs can walk upright on two and make a mean sandwich.
If this isn't the case, then WHY WON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP? It keeps beeping like every 10 minutes and really fucking loud too, I can hear it from my bedroom, where I am now, because like all men with days off in their twenties I spend it all on the internet. You're not my fucking mother, why do you insist on demanding I unload you?
Either technology is specifically being designed to be annoying as all hell or Skynet has become self aware. POP CULTURE REFERENCE LOL!
That gets me thinking, the hell is up with pop-culture references being the basis for all humour on television nowadays? Have we really run out of ideas? The only laughs to be gotten are from recognising the fact that other people have watched the same shit that you have. I'm unaware of why that is funny, unless you are Abed from Community, in which case continue because you are AWESOME.
People spend a lot of time bitching about re-runs on television, so why do we enjoy crappy re-enactments of catch phrases in other shows? It's like a perpetual sink-hole of parrot like repetition which gets up my pee-hole to no end.
Although, admittedly, things seem to get up my pee-hole rather easily. No homo.
Anyway, I have to leave for work in an hour and a half, so I'm getting my ass to the golden arches to get me a double cheese and diet coke, because find me another place you can get a decent burger and drink for £2.50.
And if you can, shut the fuck up, because I'm never wrong and you always are.
PEACE!
Now, I can kind of understand this with like, say, a phone call, a real human on the other side of the line clamoring for my attention in their time of need, but today I noticed that apparently my dishwasher thinks I need to prioritise my time of porn and computer games underneath unloading the dishwasher.
Now, I don't have many friends so it isn't that hard to imagine my dishwasher has more plans than me, but is there a dinner party I wasn't aware of? Do I need to stuff a turkey and lay a table? Or get a table to lay, whatever, I'm a 22 year old man, the only things we care about on four legs can walk upright on two and make a mean sandwich.
If this isn't the case, then WHY WON'T YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP? It keeps beeping like every 10 minutes and really fucking loud too, I can hear it from my bedroom, where I am now, because like all men with days off in their twenties I spend it all on the internet. You're not my fucking mother, why do you insist on demanding I unload you?
Either technology is specifically being designed to be annoying as all hell or Skynet has become self aware. POP CULTURE REFERENCE LOL!
That gets me thinking, the hell is up with pop-culture references being the basis for all humour on television nowadays? Have we really run out of ideas? The only laughs to be gotten are from recognising the fact that other people have watched the same shit that you have. I'm unaware of why that is funny, unless you are Abed from Community, in which case continue because you are AWESOME.
People spend a lot of time bitching about re-runs on television, so why do we enjoy crappy re-enactments of catch phrases in other shows? It's like a perpetual sink-hole of parrot like repetition which gets up my pee-hole to no end.
Although, admittedly, things seem to get up my pee-hole rather easily. No homo.
Anyway, I have to leave for work in an hour and a half, so I'm getting my ass to the golden arches to get me a double cheese and diet coke, because find me another place you can get a decent burger and drink for £2.50.
And if you can, shut the fuck up, because I'm never wrong and you always are.
PEACE!
The devil makes work for idle something or other.
Let's get this out of the way - I can be a very lazy man. I spend my days off in my pajamas (yes I have jammies, fuck you) until like 2pm where I have a half hour bath and smoke perhaps a little too much weed. My work is easy if a little tedious, and after both the trained baristas left work, I'm the most experienced coffee genie in the whole damn place.
What I'm saying is, I can press the fuck out of the 'coffee' button on the machine.
So my life is easy, money can be a little tight, but I'm 22 a year out of University and living away from home. That's a big step for me, my brother lived at home until he was 26. Essentially I'm saying I'm better than you.
However, as I mentioned, two of the bar staff have left, leaving just me (which would technically have made me the worst barista, but fuck you, coffee isn't my life), and as a result, my schedule next week is CRAZY.
Put it this way, I'm used to working the or four evening shifts a week, ranging between five and six hours, so that's, what, like twenty hours? I now have three morning shifts of seven hours, and two evening shifts of around six. Add onto that a day in London on Monday, full on 9-5 plus the commute, a job interview, I'm cat-sitting for the week AND my girlfriend is coming down.
Oh, and of course all my contract IT work.
You see, I get a lot of stick for how easy my life is, but the work I do, and I mean IT work because any fucking monkey can make a coffee, is work that only I can do. My flatmate often ridicules me for how ridiculous my IT pay is (£25 an hour thank you very much) but motherfucker, I earned that wage. I was a chubby nerd who was taught Pascal Programming at 10 years old, builind my own computer at 14 (well I had help but bitch, I bought the parts) and teaching myself both Flash, Photoshop and Dreamweaver at the same age.
When a laptop fucks up, an xbox won't connect, hell, a DVD player breaks down, I'm the one that gets the call. Did I mention I used to build my own circuit boards and design my own microchip programming? No? Well fuck you, I did, so show me a broken circuit board and I'll tell you what's wrong with it and how to go about fixing it, except I wont, because I can't be bothered.
But next week I am MAD busy, and I'm really, really, REALLY looking forward to it.
Having alone time is great, you know? But you only appreciate it when you spend most of your time around other people. I spend a lot of time around myself, and who can blame me, I'm awesome, but next week I'm actually needed. No other bar-staff, an interview with just me and literally a blank piece of paper to find me a place in the company (did I not mention that fact? I'm not going for a role, a set job, they are literally going to figure out where they want me, not IF. Pow).
I'm going to be dead by the end, but every day I get to come home to the lady, who I haven't seen in a while, and I cannot stress just how much I'm looking forward to this.
Then the money, I can get out of debt, I can stop stressing, I can be happy, and I have a cat again to hang about (side note: I still really miss my cat and think about him every day) and it's like a holiday to me.
So here's my final thought of this entry. What is a holiday? Is it a beach, a relaxing moment? Or is it living your life on the other side of the rails so you appreciate what you have?
Surely you should live in what makes you happy, and indulge in stress for a few moments in your life to appreciate what you have, than suffer a world of stress to have a few fleeting moments to remind you what you don't.
Sensei out.
What I'm saying is, I can press the fuck out of the 'coffee' button on the machine.
So my life is easy, money can be a little tight, but I'm 22 a year out of University and living away from home. That's a big step for me, my brother lived at home until he was 26. Essentially I'm saying I'm better than you.
However, as I mentioned, two of the bar staff have left, leaving just me (which would technically have made me the worst barista, but fuck you, coffee isn't my life), and as a result, my schedule next week is CRAZY.
Put it this way, I'm used to working the or four evening shifts a week, ranging between five and six hours, so that's, what, like twenty hours? I now have three morning shifts of seven hours, and two evening shifts of around six. Add onto that a day in London on Monday, full on 9-5 plus the commute, a job interview, I'm cat-sitting for the week AND my girlfriend is coming down.
Oh, and of course all my contract IT work.
You see, I get a lot of stick for how easy my life is, but the work I do, and I mean IT work because any fucking monkey can make a coffee, is work that only I can do. My flatmate often ridicules me for how ridiculous my IT pay is (£25 an hour thank you very much) but motherfucker, I earned that wage. I was a chubby nerd who was taught Pascal Programming at 10 years old, builind my own computer at 14 (well I had help but bitch, I bought the parts) and teaching myself both Flash, Photoshop and Dreamweaver at the same age.
When a laptop fucks up, an xbox won't connect, hell, a DVD player breaks down, I'm the one that gets the call. Did I mention I used to build my own circuit boards and design my own microchip programming? No? Well fuck you, I did, so show me a broken circuit board and I'll tell you what's wrong with it and how to go about fixing it, except I wont, because I can't be bothered.
But next week I am MAD busy, and I'm really, really, REALLY looking forward to it.
Having alone time is great, you know? But you only appreciate it when you spend most of your time around other people. I spend a lot of time around myself, and who can blame me, I'm awesome, but next week I'm actually needed. No other bar-staff, an interview with just me and literally a blank piece of paper to find me a place in the company (did I not mention that fact? I'm not going for a role, a set job, they are literally going to figure out where they want me, not IF. Pow).
I'm going to be dead by the end, but every day I get to come home to the lady, who I haven't seen in a while, and I cannot stress just how much I'm looking forward to this.
Then the money, I can get out of debt, I can stop stressing, I can be happy, and I have a cat again to hang about (side note: I still really miss my cat and think about him every day) and it's like a holiday to me.
So here's my final thought of this entry. What is a holiday? Is it a beach, a relaxing moment? Or is it living your life on the other side of the rails so you appreciate what you have?
Surely you should live in what makes you happy, and indulge in stress for a few moments in your life to appreciate what you have, than suffer a world of stress to have a few fleeting moments to remind you what you don't.
Sensei out.
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